An adventurer’s survival kit.

Having been on this ‘nappies and night feeds’ carousel for two and half solid years now 😫, I’ve tried every trick and product in the book to make life even a little bit easier

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Goodbye good December…but hello New Year’s resolution!

Spoiler: I’m guessing the Hungry Caterpillar is a myth…. Back in August, I chose my wedding dress and told the shop lady I would lose a stone by the final final fitting! As November crept by, I was half a stone heavier and couldn’t wait for the Christmas tree to go up, so that I…

When one becomes two.

When you’re pregnant with Kid 2, nervous about how you will cope given how your life was turned on its head when you had your first, everyone tells you “it’s no different to having one.” And then, when Kid 2 makes its appearance, they all say “oh my gosh, it’s so hard isn’t it?!” 😀 …

Poorly baby

I remember the good doctor examining her and pressing down on her tummy, only to vomit like a fountain, in a scene reminiscent of the walrus spewing scene from Fifty First Dates, covering the three of us. The GP’s words: “Yep, that’s completely normal. It’s just because I pushed her tummy.” No it fucking isn’t.

An open letter to my first born on the first step of her future.

Dear Queen I, aka Kid 1, aka my Iris, As this week draws to a close, we have created wonderful memories and I couldn’t be more proud of you. However, there does now seem to be a sweet, lively and beautiful little girl masquerading as the quiet baby flower I brought home three years ago……

That four-letter offensive word…

Sorry to all those ‘Yummy Mummies’ who think the use of this expletive and others is offensive…I understand I do overuse it a bit (in more sense than one), but it is a release I have as a mum, and I don’t intend to refrain from using it at anytime soon. 🍷🍷🍷 That term ‘Yummy…

When you have to ask the OH to decorate 😫

That dreaded moment when you have to ask the OH to finish off Kid 2’s room (he’s only been with us 17 months…πŸ™ˆ). So far I’ve put it off, knowing it would take the OH away from us for a weekend- leaving me with two bonkers toddlers for the weekend. It shouldn’t take that long,…

School effing holidays

I think the lowest part so far was seeing a Kid 2 foaming at the mouth; the foam was blue. This was closely followed by him vomiting blue vomit, which revealed the cause of the incident- he’d eaten a piece of blue chalk. At first I’d thought it was Play Doh he’d eaten again, as…

Tag Team on Tour

Taking Queen I on holiday, and then The Tag Team when Big N came along, filled the OH with panic (it doesn't take much). And so a situation that Britons voted to be one of the most stressful, became very stressful for me as I had to assuage his fears on top of packing everything…

Leaving teaching…

There will be times I’m sure, when my kids don’t even like me for the rulings I’ll have to dish out, and the last thing they’ll care about then is if I did the feminist thing and brought home my share of the pennies

‘Beauty’ regime

When you first have a baby, you care about surviving. This is eventually followed by dieting. However, second time round, you know you can survive (or at least you think you know- and then Kid 2 wakes up and does more than sleep and eat 😫). I quickly fell back into the habit of the…